Weekend

When your coach says, "do what you did yesterday. Because you kicked ass yesterday." 

It's the best way to finish the week!

If You Give a Monkey a Razor Blade....

Where to start? This has been a very eventful week. It got very cold, very quickly, which can mean all sorts of fun with the ponies!
By cold, I mean below 60deg, I can hear you all laughing from here!

Monday's ride was very good. Ringo seemed looser and less fussy throughout the whole lesson. Lessons are still less than half an hour (am I the only one who sees the humor in the fact that my fitness level is higher than an ex race-horse?!) Balance issues still, (the gorse, not me) and resisting contact, but really a decent ride for three days off. 

Tuesday we got the rodeo show. Bucks, spin outs, weird lead changes and taking off. But it really didn't phase me, I just kinda sat there and said, "no, butthead, we're going to do this my way. Sorry, not sorry!" And then he listened. Brendan mentioned something Mike Barisone had told him, which made me laugh but sadly the metaphor escapes me. It involved giving a monkey a razor blade. I think the point is that a horse is going to take advantage of anything you give it...? Maybe? Anyhow, it was a butting-heads day. 

Then after the lesson I made the mistake of mentioning to my girlfriend that some guy had called me "Pancake-Butt" (because I am on the skinny side) and now the barn manager Brian calls me "Flapjacks." Wonderful. 

Wednesday Brian rode Ringo and I found it interesting to be able to observe the horse from the ground. Brian is just starting out and has only been on a horse a handful of times. They worked on walk/trot, keeping and feeling posting diagonals, etc. Ringo was very sore-sorry boy! That was my doing. He was hollow and had uneven strides, and basically just kept quitting on Brian. Which was a bit amusing, it had to be said. And a bird pooped on my head, which Brendan found to be very amusing. Karma!

Today was the best Ringo has been. We did a much longer trot warmup, Brendan told me he really likes my method of warming up with so many bending/turning sets, so he let me do all that and then we jumped to the canter. Now, I must note that I've been on Ringo a total of maybe 7 times, and the horse has steadily progressed. He hasn't once decided that he forgot the lesson from the last day, and instead, today he actually gave me moments of roundness! Very brief moments, but little seconds of doing over his back and giving to my hand. Progress!! I made sure to reward him every time. I focused so much today on keeping my right shoulder back, and keeping my elbow. And then I just pushed him really forward and met him in the contact, and he started to give without flinging his head. I'm excited about that. So, the canter was far easier to pick up and maintain to both directions; it's the trot transition at the left lead that gets me into trouble. Because my left leg is weak, Ringo cuts straight into the middle of the circle when we transition down. So Brendan has me steer as wide as I can to counter this. Over all though, the horse is looser, more supple, starting to bend, starting to come through his back, and maintaining straightness better, which I'd say are some quick and correct steps toward the basics! I told Brendan I think right now we are just teaching the horse how to walk/trot/canter in balance, and he agreed, saying we can't really try any "dressage stuff" until we get him solid here. But let me just ask, what is dressage, if not all the basics working together?!

 This'll be the first week where I've had four rides. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Rainy days for girly girls

I've found that being a horse girl, I make certain sacrifices in the appearance department. We have perpetual helmet-hair-the flattened, sweat-clumped frizzy look, which, let's face it, is never in style; broken, dirt-caked nails; dust and grime everywhere in fact, and we don't always smell the best. Being a very girly girl, this is often a disappointment. I love to look pretty when possible, and while living in LA I always made sure I had awesome hair. Now as I sit here writing, I'm simultaneously doing a mask to try to unclog my poor pores. I found a cheap and very practical way to freshen my look-acrylic nails!! Before you go all judgy on me, let me just say something. If you've ever jammed your finger in a stall door, or under a saddle, or in the chain on a lead rope, you will understand where I'm going with this. I find that since I can't actually cut my nails on my right hand, mine are always breaking when I handle horses, and the worst part is that they break way down in the quick. Then it hurts for weeks for me to do anything at all with the only working 5 fingers i got! Solution? I saw an advert for a $20 manicure, and I thought let's just try this. I got nice clean french tips, very very short-the nail doesn't even extend past the end of my fingertips. The deciding factor was that I recently split my thumbnail when a foal jammed her chain on it, and it kept snagging on everything which was agony. Now, I'm pleased to say I have a full set of finger armor. And they look FABULOUS!! Very unassuming and simple and yet so sophistique! And, I've already banged them plenty and not even a chip. voila!
It's the simple pleasures.

Now for the riding portion of our program: 

Now we've established that I rode on Monday. Brendan's barn manager, Brian, rode Ringo (the TB) yesterday. We have it set up so that I will ride 4x/week and Brian 1, sharing the schoolhorse. 
I'm all about positive thinking, but I don't expect leaps and bounds of improvement between the initial ride and the second. It would seem though, that this is what occurred. 
Today, I began again with lots of changes in direction, loops and different sized circles, and the minute I took him to trot, he not only accepted my leg, but stopped fussing with his head so much. Brendan's first comment was that we looked much more solid as a pair; more together through turns etc. Ringo was still very stiff, but moved away from my legs better without throwing a fit. 
I am very proud with my lack of soreness (knock on wood) because I feel that is a testament to my fitness level. Usually the first and second rides after a long break are brutal but I think my gym time has payed off well.
There was one nasty moment when Ringo pulled a spin/bolt combo because his left side is very weak and hard for him. But my sweet Clever taught me last year how to deal with that, and Ringo's move was wasted on me. My heart rate didn't even change! I'm quite happy about that actually, I used to get so scared when horses pulled tricks, but I was utterly unfazed and remained calm and cool. I rode through it, insisted he go back the other way, and just tried again. We got it right the next time. Brendan said,"That was very well ridden!" I've become such a confident rider. It was a surprising revelation I had today when I felt literally zero apprehension in anything the horse did. I just simply enjoyed the ride. 
Then we started working the canter, and Ringo is very much on the forehand (downhill) and wants to run along quickly like a wheelbarrow that's out of control. So to counter this, we do very short bursts of work and lots of transitions through the gaits. Eventually this will train the horse to shift his weight back to his haunches. 
Mostly I focused on keeping the horse forward and straight. Brendan was saying we can't get any other movement from a horse until it can go forward and straight and that is where we start. But overall, I think coach and I were both surprised and excited to see the vast improvement in such short time!
I'm also happy because the horse being very weak on the same side as me, it's the ultimate therapy. If I'm not aware at all times of what my leg is doing, Ringo will either beeline to the middle of the arena or have some sort of meltdown. It is really forcing me to use that side as much as I use my right. Which I can see as a happy coincidence! 
Now we're off till next week as Brendan has a championship show (BLMS) over the weekend. To him we say GOOD LUCK!

poetry in motion

At the risk of sounding cliche......

It has happened! I am officially back in the saddle. (Har, har). On this dreary, wet fall day, I was finally, FINALLY put on a horse again. I make a big deal out of it only because it's the first ride (other than 2 spins on a friend's horse, who was kind enough to take pity and let me ride hers) since Nationals back in June. 
The school horse, Ringo, was my noble steed du jour. He's a seven year old thoroughbred, used strictly for hunter lessons. What this actually means is that he simply does not know the meaning of self-carriage, stride adjustment, collection, or bend. What he DOES know is, leg means go, hand means stop, and either rein means change direction. 
We have some work to do. 
Let me start out by saying I was a bit apprehensive about this first ride in front of Brendan. I certainly had a lot to prove, simply because he decided to take me on, it meant I had better have a certain level of skill. Also, getting on a new horse with no idea how it acts is always an awkward situation. Like a first date with someone you don't know-you aren't aware of mannerisms or what is ok to ask etc. 
Being the balls-to-the-wall kinda girl I am, I slapped some spurs on (despite several cautions from third parties, because the TB wasn't used to spurs), and up I got. 
First off, I felt like I had no stirrups whatever. Were my legs really that straight last time I rode? Jeez I have to get my muscle memory back. And second thing, Ringo scooted off straight after I mounted, which took me by surprise because so many different people had told me he's very dull and needs tons of leg. WRONG! Perhaps it was the spurs, and let me tell you the reason I use those suckers, regardless of the horse's attitude: simply because they give me extra support on the left side where I just don't have the coordination to turn my toe out and put leg on. Therefore, having a spur, a horse can actually feel the tiny amount of pressure I am able to apply. 
I want to start with what pleased me about Ringo: he is very smart. He was unsure at times of what I was asking, but as soon as I asked another way or fixed an issue by insisting, he would figure it out in no time. 
I worked mostly in trot, after a very long warm up in the walk. He wasn't thrilled when I tried to pick him up-long and low is the hunter MO and the opposite of what we want.

the dreaded hunter frame

so he fussed a lot with his face and acted claustrophobic. Once we lengthened the reins a notch he was much quieter. In picking up the trot, I immediately started in on bending exercises. 10m, 20m circles, serpentines, half 10m circles, so many changes of direction I think we both got dizzy. But he went quickly from being horridly stiff to becoming relaxed and happier. 

the outline we want in dressage 

Brendan kept reminding me to get a bigger trot-you have to have enough forward to be able to do anything at all. Most of the time, when I applied more leg, Ringo would go to canter, even though I was still posting.
My first canter sets were quite fast. As in, almost out of control. He is extremely on his forehand, so Brendan said our homework for the next month is to do half a circle in canter (roughly 3-5 strides) and then immediately down to trot again. This gives him no time to fall on his face, and instead retrains him how to transfer his balance to his hind end. 
It's funny to see how similar the issues we had today were to Clever when I first started working with her. It's an unfortunate fact that  Ringo doesn't want to stay out on a circle or on the wall to the left, seeing as how that is my weak point. That was the only area that Brendan really stepped in to instruct me, toward the end of our ride. I was tracking left and asked for the canter and Ringo honestly twisted into a pretzel and spun in a tiny circle like a western horse. His body language said in a whiney voice, "I can't do it, it's too hard." 
Brendan was like make it straight, fix it in the trot. And I did. I just focused extra hard on my left leg, and used my seat to push the horse outward, and he did. And then we got a nice balanced transition. Solving problems one equation at a time. 
Overall, I was quite pleased with myself, not having any idea what to expect with this guy. I think it will be a phenomenal opportunity to learn how to train a green horse and to become more clear as a rider. {In my best Cher voice from Clueless,}-*PROJECT!*

Time to Play Catchup

Hey strangers,
I'm not going to launch into all the tedious reasons as to why I've been AWOL for so long. Trust me when I say my summer was a whirlwind of chaos. Busy doesn't even come close!

Therefore, I am going to restart this disclosure of my adventures by recapping my Florida stint. A lot was good, there was some bad, and more than a fair share of ugly, but it was all so incredibly educational, and I am beyond thrilled with my growth. 

It would take pages to recount all the things that happened while staying in White Fences. I'll stick with the highlights:
my very first show on Clever happened to be at Global Dressage Festival. Did you catch that? my DEBUT SHOW on this sometimes CRAZY ANIMAL took place at GLOBBAL DRESSAGE FESTIVAL IN WELLINGTON, FL. in laymen's terms, this is like getting drafted for the MLB from middle school. I had no experience whatsoever, having never competed in any recognized show before. These were the big leagues. I was a little nervous-the week prior to our debut I almost tossed my cookies in the tack room, had a total meltdown (complete with crying, hyperventilating and having to breathe in a paper bag). I literally told my coach at the time i was scratching, there was no way i was doing it, she couldn't make me-it was a rather dramatic prelude. 
thankfully, Jane, being the calm and logical woman she is, handed me said paper bag, rubbed my back, and told me to suck it up. we had out in the time and entry fees and she was damned if she was going to watch me wuss out.

The day was bright and comfortably warm. i decided to just not care, and go in with just the intention to remember my test. that was all. i figured if i was going to bomb it, i'd fail with style, so i put on my best makeup, got accessorized with plenty of bling and said let's go. the horse was cool and unfazed coming off at Global. she looked around with the air of a bored model who's seen ten thousand catwalks, and didn't anyone have anything that could IMPRESS her for once? i was relieved that when i got on she didn't feel electric. just forward and relaxed. i let out a deep breath. 

our first show together

we warmed up with Jane standing ringside, and Clever obeyed everything. My biggest concern was that she'd swap from left to right lead canter during the test (now we know that habit was formed out of pain, which breaks my heart). but i wash't worried about her taking off with me. the warmup ended and i was signaled over to the ring. Jane told me to trot around the perimeter several times and show off with a huge smile in front of the judge's-common practice in dressage-so off we went. Clever felt sound and swingy. i was starting to breath easier. then the bell rang and i almost galloped away in the other direction. may have peed my breeches a tiny bit. but i was committed at that point so i just plastered a cheesy smile on my face and went down centerline. it was a clean test actually. no errors, although it must be said that we accidentally did the dreaded lead change right before my down transition at M..i'm 95% sure my Sagittarius luck popped up and caused the judge to blink, sneeze, or write something at that exact minute, because i wasn't faulted. i walked out of the ring with the HUGEST weight lifted off. i was beaming in earnest at that point. 
then Jane came over and told me she could not be more proud of the performance, and where had that confidence come from all of a sudden (i told her it was fake) and she'd be appalled if that didn't earn over a 60%. i was pleased with the praise, but tried not to think of what my marks would be. 

jane watched the leaderboard till my class was posted, and wouldn't you know, I got a 2nd place with a 68.4%!! a way better outcome than i had expected! i was elated. it was a para-test-of-choice class, meaning instead of the riders only competing against their own grade, we all went in the same class and performed a test from our own grades. the first place went to a walk only test, so i was very proud. 

wouldn't you know, sometimes you truly can fake it till ya make it!

"Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory."

It is not under these circumstances that I had the intention to update, but I do feel compelled write today. It is with a very heavy heart that I write about my love for a man who passed away last weekend. 
I met Cody Dylan Paul my first year living in Los Angeles when I was eighteen. He was attending university in Arizona and had taken a roadtrip to LA with several friends. I was completely starstruck upon first meeting him. He had a dazzling smile, and all-American good looks that lit up any room he entered. It was like looking at the sun. Cody was used to, but unpretentious about, being the center of attention. He loved it, and he shared the spotlight happily. He made you feel as if you were the MVP of his world. Like you were the only one who mattered. He made you feel like your life was invaluable. Needless to say, I was immediately smitten (who could resist?!) and I was thrilled to know I had his interest. 
It seemed fate had plans for us when he informed me his family owned a lakehouse in Maine only half an hour from my mom's house. We got together in the summer of 2007 when he and his best friend Mike invited me and my friend Ashley to spend some time with them at the cabin. Well, at that point I was dead gone over him. 
Having his affection was thrilling. He had this gravity about him and everyone-I mean EVERYONE that met him wanted to know him more. I kinda felt like a celebrity in his presence. Our time together was short, but I am honest in saying that I fell in love with him that summer. I would challenge any girl in my shoes to try not to fall for him. He had the heart of a lion, strong, warm, loyal, protective. And so fun. One of his most admirable qualities was the ability to make you FEEL every moment of life. He was passionate about music. His taste ranged from hip hop to metal and it would seem his life was a series of songs. He had this rhythm that no one else could quite touch. 
We didn't see each other again after that for nearly seven years. We'd be in touch now and then via FaceBook, but I never got over him. He just had something about him that even in silence he made you feel like a star. I can't describe it accurately, but I've never met another person with that quality. 
I am so very blessed to have reconnected with Cody last summer. In july he visited the lakehouse again and when we saw each other it was clear that feelings had grown in our distance. He told me that he had never forgotten the time we shared, and that "if we still had [feelings] after seven years, he was pretty sure they'd never go away." I feel so grateful to have had the connection we shared, even over so short a time. 
Cody's life ended very unexpectedly three nights ago. I do not have words to express my shock and sadness. I do not wish to go into detail, as I prefer to focus on the love and light he brought to the world. His happiness and generosity was spread far and wide. His was an open-door policy, and he'd make a best friend out of the person he sat next to on a flight. And that person would know they were loved and appreciated forever after. The one regret I hold is that I did not tell him how in love with him I was (am) when I had the chance. He did tell me he loved me several weeks ago, saying he'd "regret not having said it if anything should happen to him." Well, we all obviously need to take a leaf out of Cody's book. Let this lesson be learned: we must tell those we love how much they mean to us, and not hesitate, as life is short and unpredictable. I hope this story reaches far, because Cody deserves to be remembered and talked about forever. Everyone lucky enough to have been part of his life know that he is one of the best people in the world, and his presence will go far beyond this lifetime. Please, I ask anyone who reads this, send loving thoughts to his parents, who've lost their only child, and to the thousands of hearts who are hurting over this tragedy. And Cody-if you're watching me write this, know that I LOVE YOU and will do for as long as I'm here. Say hi to my beloved Granny Kitty, who I know would be utterly charmed by you. And may the music be loud and unstoppable wherever you are. RIP Cody, the world lost a great one but heaven gained a rockstar. xoxoxoxoxoxo <3

a reality check

It took over a week to drive to Maine from LA. This is partly because I took the extended route through Texas in order to pay a visit to my first horse, Sneezie, who is retired there on an amazing ranch close to Dallas called Camp Rusk. It is opperated by John Gammon, a very nice southern gentleman who runs his ranch in such a manner that keeps all the horses in impeccable shape, and very happy. Sneezie was certainly looking very well-he is king of his designated herd, and no other horse is fool enough to challenge this. He has a good 200 pounds on any other equine in his family I'd say!

Over all it was a fun but sometimes grueling road trip..roughly 4,000 miles with the detour through Texas. We only got stopped once, by a cop who was clearly bored with his life and saw two young girls in a car with California plates, so he thought he'd give us a little scare to break up the monotony of his pointless existence. Poor fool. Other than that, and me scaring the daylights out of a hapless cleaning lady..(long story, and too embarrassing to post here)..our trip was pretty uneventful. We made a stop to see the king in Graceland, saw Nashville and Shenandoah Valley, along with other cool landmarks. We tried strange food, and stepped on the Texarcana state line, brought my fiendish feline into every restaurant we stopped at (without contestation), and took some fun candid pictures. 

Now is where it gets interesting. Obviously the whole point of me moving back to New England was for my lovely mare, Clever-MY horse for real! and my first ride on her since being here happened on Thursday. Now, forgive my naivety in thinking our instant connection from last month's clinic would still be there when I rode her this time! Boy there's really nothing like a horse (especially a Clever one) to bring you down a few notches and keep you humble! I wouldn't say it was a disastrous ride; but she certainly gave me a run for my money. She decided my attempts to steer with a bridged rein were not going to work for her..so we had quite a few runouts and beelines to the gate, that little devil! Her previous owner was instructing me while she rode as well, and after awhile Clever behaved better.

My second ride on Friday was slightly worse. What's more, We had Olympic trainer/rider Dottie Morkis teaching us, and I can say i was quite embarrassed by my seemingly complete lack of knowledge in what I was doing. I found it fairly difficult not to get completely frustrated; but somehow kept my sense of humor. Although Dottie must have been way less than impressed, she was still very encouraging and had lots of good tips for me. I will continue to train with her weekly, and I have high hopes that Clever and I will be back on the same page in short time. 

Now, aside from my stung pride and feeling of insult from a horse who less than a month ago gladly gave me the world the first time riding her, I am suffering from the pressure of a very big recognized show that I am expected to be ready for..and that takes place in one month. As if it's not enough to feel like my horse is over me, I must learn and perfect a Grade 3 test in less than 30 days, which means moves that I have very little experience with and proving that I'm not an idiot for thinking I am good enough to have taken this risk. Surprisingly enough, despite my first 2 less than wonderful rides, I still think I can do well. Dottie is a big part of that confidence; when I asked her, rather sheepishly, whether she could have me ready to show at the HITS Saugerties show in NY in a month, she replied with utmost confidence and no hesitation, "of course." She also said that I must be prepared to work very hard..which I'd planned on already, so it was nice to be assured like that. Anyway, bootcamp has begun. My schedule is to be riding every single day, at least from now until Saugerties, and when I'm not in the barn, I am expected to be in the gym. On top of that, my diet is being closely monitored with high protein and extreme hydration. Welcome folks, to my real Olympic journey. It all starts with bootcamp! If all goes as expected I will compete in Long Island at the huge Saugerties show in one month. Wish us luck!

a gold sparkle and leopard trim flymask depicts the diva's personality perfectly!